Demons inside

The sky is a strange place. One moment the sun shines so bright and happy, then the clouds turn gray before you even walk out the door. What happened to the sun? You ask as it begins to rain in an instant. Raindrops hitting so hard and so heavy on your window pane that all you are left to do is sit and hope for a rainbow after it all dies down.

Emotions are tricky little devils who just love to play hide and seek with us:They seek; we run and hide. They are quick to fill every crevice in our hearts and minds so they'll be no where left to run, no where left to hide. Then we are forced to look them in the eye and live through every moment with them breathing down our necks. Emotions have minds of their own. We think they belong to us and sit under our control, but no. It is emotions who control us.

Regret, hurt, hatred, guilt, remorse. These little beast lurk in every corner ever-ready to jump out and bite us where it hurts the most. They play at us like a piano, hitting all the wrong keys to produce something ugly.

Memories are the greatest enhancers for such beasts. As I lie in bed after a long day, hoping to get some rest. I slowly realize I'm not gonna get any. I find the most painful and heart-wrenching moments of my life stamped behind my eyelids. In that way, all I have to do to relive every tear and every hurt over and over is simply to close my eyes..

So then I lay awake in the darkest and loneliest hours of the night. Silence comes over me like a suffocating blanket and every painful thought is crystal clear. Twisting my mind to a state of restlessness i cannot suppress. Eyes wide open staring at the ceiling, wondering how on Earth do I tame these little demons within before they totally obliterate me from the inside out.

We put on a mask where we want to hide. Whether it's a smile dragged with us along the day or a face of indifference we curl up behind. At the end of the day, we're afraid to face the demons. Giving room for them to take over.

Emotions are such unpredictable creatures. Can't live with them, can't live without them. So i say my prayers, place the demons inside into His hands and go on with another day. Because I don't know what the heck I can do, but trust Him.